Studies show remote work can be a romance killer for couples working from home together. Experts suggest this 3-step recipe to make this Valentine’s Day a sweet one.
As Valentine’s Day fast approaches, most people are thinking about flowers and chocolates. But as more professional couples embrace the flexibility of remote work, they’re finding that working from home with their honey may not be so sweet.
33% of Remote Workers are Doing It Less, Many Not at All
Recent studies support this conclusion.
New data from the U.S., United Kingdom, Italy and India indicates that remote work is not keeping couples in the “mood.”
One-third of respondents reported having less sex since working remotely, and one-quarter reported having no sex at all.
A partner’s quirks that were so lovable before remote work, for some, become irritating, unattractive habits when around each other all the time. This can lead to a reduced desire for your better half.
According to a study by the University College of London, women are twice as likely to lose sexual interest in their partner compared with men.
Remote Work vs. Biology: Libido is the Big Loser
There seems to be a biological explanation for all of this.
According to evolutionary anthropologist Dr. Anna Machin, humans have evolved to be attracted to new things. “The brain releases a hit of dopamine – one of the reward and pleasure hormones involved in sexual attraction – when we see or do something different to our normal routine,” says Machin.
Remote work can mean lots of the same things, over and over, for nearly all of the day. Factor in a partner that insists on working in pajamas all day and you have a recipe for a very un-hot romance.
3-Step Recipe to Elevating Remote Work Romance
Experts recommend a 3-step recipe to help remote work couples stay in the “mood” just in time for the most romantic day of the year!
1. Get more exercise
You all know it, a little exercise fixes lots of problems, including making the magic happen. “Endorphins, the stress-relieving chemicals released during exercise, also play a role in helping us bond to other people, says Dr. Machin.
Getting some exercise also gets you away from your desk (likely out of the house) and makes you feel better about yourself, which makes you a more pleasant person to be around.
2. Set boundaries
Boundaries can be an issue with remote work from home. Your work stuff is always in front of you and there’s temptation to just do a little bit more, cutting into romantic time with your love muffin.
According to Ripple Coworking client and sex health expert Erica Rivera, when couples work from home, space and personal freedom can make a huge difference in order to avoid getting tired of each other.
Rivera recommends getting creative with your space. “Create separate offices or, if there isn’t the square footage to accommodate that, at least giving each work area boundaries,” advises Rivera. “Have a sign that indicates your office hours, stick to them and keep work in those spaces only.”
3. Work from outside of the house (without your partner)
Want to get back to being the king or queen of the boudoir, then stop fighting your own biology.
It’s imperative to get out of the house and away from your partner for a bit. Schedule it into your workweek if necessary.
Spend one or two days a week working from a library or coffee shop. Better yet, find a coworking space or small office where both partners can alternate days and there are other professionals around on a regular basis.
“It will create the space needed to keep a relationship intact,” says Rivera. It will also give partners a chance to meet other professionals and engage in more traditional workplace activities.
Experts suggest that even hearing some workplace gossip about other people’s relationships can inject excitement into your own.
While separation is important, Erica Rivera suggests that you don’t forget to schedule some quality together time. “Share a few lunches together each week to boost your connectedness as a couple,” encourages Rivera.
